POLICE BEAT

What is it, you might ask? Well, every week in the BYU Daily Universe their is a section called "Police Beat." It was my favorite part of the week. I loved sitting down to read the "paper" to see all the stupid things BYU students did each week. Most freshman boys made it a goal to make it in the Police Beat. Many of the guys in my freshman ward actually made it in...several times. They did such things as throwing a yellow pleather DI couch out their window and girls in another dorm called the police. There were more serious things to, like the time my roommate (sophmore year) made it in for stealing books at the BYU bookstore. Mostly it is just hilarious. Today I was reading my friend, Kristan's blog and she informed me that you can now get the Daily Universe on-line. You know what that means...THE POLICE BEAT. I checked it out and they actually publish a "Best of Police Beat" each semester. I read through a couple of them and thought I would share the best ones or at least a few that should make you laugh...I know I did...right out loud! I will add a few thoughts in () of my own.

Dec. 7: The glass of a vending machine in the Harris Fine Arts Center was shattered. A male student's friend paid for a Pot Tart that the vending machine did not dispense. Thus the male student leaned his shoulder against the glass in an attempt to tip the machine and get the Pot Tart out accidentally shattering the glass in the process. (No, I did not make a typo here...that is really how it appears in the paper. I love that they call it a "POT Tart." It's funny for 2 reasons, 1 because it's BYU and POT is such a big No, NO, and 2 because it's a University Paper and the editor didn't pick it up. I don't think he will be hired at the New York Times after that mistake!) :)

Nov. 24: An individual in Deseret Towers reported five suspicious men playing pool in the lobby of one of the halls. Upon investigation it was found the men were simply students playing pool with their girlfriends. (This could be a case of jealousy...that the "individual" was not invited to play!)

Nov. 2: A student in Helaman Halls received a letter with a large sum of money in it from an address in Salt Lake. The student does not know who sent the money and the incident is under investigation.
(Although it's good when you report finding money, it's a little different when money is actually sent to you...addressed, stamped, and all!)

Aug. 25: The Creamery on Ninth reported a theft on Aug. 25. A boy entered the creamery bathroom with two bags of peanut butter M&M's. An employee noticed the boy did not leave the bathroom with the peanut butter M&M's and attempted to apprehend the boy. He fled before he could be detained. (Who wants to bet the boy was in the bathroom eating those M&M's?)

Sept. 1: A building security officer was injured after biking down a grassy hill on campus. The officer did not see a bike rack at the end of the steep hill and ran into the rack. He suffered a broken wrist and elbow. (I feel safer knowing a guy like this...who can't see something like a Bike Rack is protecting the campus.)

Nov. 21: A female student attempted to get the attention of two male students passing by Fox Hall in Heritage Halls by tapping on the glass window of the lobby. The female student shattered the glass window with her tapping. (I really want to see what this girl looks like...she must be huge or at least have really strong fingers to have a little tapping shatter her window!)

Well, I hope you enjoyed these and I reserve the right to post others as I find them. Seriously check it out sometime...it's rure to provide minutes of laughter!