Last weekend my friend Kim and I attended a Singles' Conference in Salt Lake City. I always enjoy spending time with my friend Kim and we always have fun together. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't have been by my side. Here are just a few highlights of my weekend...
The keynote speaker for the conference was none other than....
Ricky Schroder. If you don't know who he is...you are WAY TO YOUNG! Here are a few hints - Silver Spoons, Champ (this one made me cry and probably still would), NYPD Blue (prior to joining the church...showing his bare butt is proof of that), Brad Paisley's Whiskey Lullaby video, and most recently 24. I really enjoyed hearing from both him and his wife.
Another highlight of the weekend was a Pinkberry knock-off in SLC. Anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE Pinkberry...it is one of the things that I miss alot about NYC.
The place was called Lunaberry. Although it wasn't quite the same, it helped tide me over until I get to NYC in the next month or so.
Now for some lowlights of the weekend and the purpose of the title of this blog. The conference was an eye-opening experience. I realized that there are worse things than being single and if this conference is what I have to look forward to...no thank you. At one point Saturday night, my friend Kim turned to me and started singing, "Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something bad." We did get a lot of laughs out, but it was mostly so we wouldn't cry. It was a little depressing. Kim and I heard and witnessed some of the most insane things...so we decided to write some of the weirdiest things down. I thought I would provide you all with a good laugh. Some of the best quotes of the night/conference:
* Kim and I were sitting on some chairs in the hall way, when I noticed a beared man walking back and forth in front of us. I knew he was waiting to pounce on Kim...I could see it in his eyes. Like a flash of lightening, before I could warn Kim he was on his knees in between us with some of Kim's hair in his hand. He then said, "Does this come out of a bottle?" Kim sort of laughed and said, "Yes." Within the 5 minutes he spoke to us, we learned more than we ever wanted to know about him. Right before finally leaving us, he said, "You know how ex's are, you've been married before." Kim of course replied, "No" and he said, "Now I don't beieve that." He then turned and asked me. He was such a creepy guy.
* While Kim and I were registering for Speed Dating (yes I know...desperate) these 2 somewhat cute guys were in line behind us. Kim and I were actually hopeful, as they looked close to our age and normal. A girl walked up to them and said, "Oh great just as I'm leaving the two young and best looking guys walk in." There was some uncomfortable laughter and then she said, "I can see it now you're TRO and you are UBLE (pointing at each of the guys as she said this). Put it together and you two are TROUBLE."
* A older women walked up to a guy sitting in the hallway during the dance and asked him why he wasn't in dancing. He said, "I can't dance because I've been married before and if I get that close to a women, I'll close my eyes and want to flip out the lights." Who knows what exactly that means, but it is really creepy! YIKES.
* A guy comes chasing a girl out of the gym and said, "I'd love to dance with you because I don't think I'm able to keep my hands off you any longer." That guy made my skin crawl...he was that oogy!
* I've saved the best for last. These people came up and stood in front of us. The women turned to the man and said, "Are you interested in doing higher celled soul sharing?" He said, "Yes I have always wanted to do that." They then proceeded to grab hands, close their eyes and they began to tell each other what they invision on a big white screen that they are picturing in their heads. Lucky for you all, I was able to snap a picture of the couple after they finished their "higher celled soul sharing." I covered their faces to protect them!
I would have gotten a picture of them actually higher celled shoul sharing, but Kim and I were laughing too hard and I just couldn't get a shot. They really were odd.
There were so many other things I could share...but I think you get the picture. So now the real question...Have you thanked your spouse today from saving you from having to attend these Singles' Conferences? If not...you should. I certainly have learned my lesson - there are worse things than being single, I could have to suffer through another one of these singles' conferences - over my dead body! :)
